reflecting on turtle sunrises

Plants are growing!

2010-03-17T15:38:00.007-05:00

Sweet Basil @ 2 days after germinating

So I planted some herbs that hopefully will be part of our centerpieces at the wedding. They are on their third week of growth already and look great. Everything has germinated as planned, aside from a few duds. There are no true leaves yet, just the first leaves so far. I think I will wait until they sprout more leaves before I transplant to larger containers, but I'm not sure really as I've never planned a pot to pot transplant like this with herbs before, let alone I've had very few transplanting experiences anyway...so we'll see...? The seeds that I planted were:
Basil (genovese, lettuce leaf, bush, & sweet,)
Parsley (italian & extra triple curled)
Cilantro
Sage
Thyme

Day of planting (Set up)

Thyme 3 days after planting...looks like little birds in a nest seeing their mother with a mouth full of food...ready to get some noms!

Cilantro, 7 days after germination, very spindly :/

Counting the days until I get to see her again...

Popo in 6 words

2010-01-31T16:20:00.008-06:00

Molly asked me to summarize Mr. Popo in 6 words...I gave this a lot of thought this past week and I have realized that my emotions for him change little each day...I thought they would change, however. I thought that I would see him with new eyes each day and think of new words that come to my mind to describe him...but no, they don't change really, maybe a word or two, but the meaning is always the same. And it's funny...Because this is exactly how I feel about Molly. Every thought I have of her is always in the light of how much I love her. That intensity of love that I feel is all consuming and overwhelming and is so pervasive no matter if we have a bad day, I wouldn't "summarize" her differently on these days...Yet in a friend, at least a more distant friend I am just the opposite. My interpretation of them changes on a whim at times. Depending on how they treat me or what they say about a certain situation...Their summary is always changing. Yet...My dedicated love that resides in only a few people (and animals) is all the summary there is to speak of. It's like my imagination for summarizing one's life is either free as the wind or is softly bound by gooey warm chains that wrap around me and keep me from straying off into a world of judgments.

So, here goes: Mr. Popo; My moon, leashed. Yet, always free.

How we Americans spend our day

2010-01-23T10:35:00.005-06:00

I like the relaxing and thinking section.

Activities like ''doing nothing,'' ''sitting around,'' sitting in a hot tub or daydreaming peak around 5 p.m.

Instead of an average of 16 minutes per day, I would say that I consume roughly 30-60 minutes daydreaming, watching my love, looking at popo, and just thinking.

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2009/07/31/business/20080801-metrics-graphic.html

by the way, I heard on NPR that the nytimes will start charging for their content...giving everyone so many free articles/month, then limiting their access unless they pay.

Frowny face...

2010-01-21T17:46:00.001-06:00

Okay, so I'm a lot sadder than I had thought I would have been.

Dear Aaron,

Thank you very much for your interest in Teach For America and for the time and effort you invested in interviewing with us. I am very sorry to inform you that, after careful consideration of your candidacy, we are not able to extend you an offer to join the 2010 corps.
Your initiative in applying to Teach For America demonstrates your commitment to expanding opportunities for children and effecting social change, and we would like to offer all candidates a path to realizing these aims. This said, we know that Teach For America is not a fit for everyone. While acknowledging the limitations of any selection process, we have developed a set of admissions criteria over time that helps us identify those most likely to be successful in our particular program. We use the written application, transcripts, online recommendation forms, phone interview, and all parts of the interview day as lenses through which to view evidence related to these criteria.

We know that you have the potential to make a significant contribution to meeting our country's pressing social needs, and we encourage you to pursue other ways to make a difference. To assist you in your pursuit, we have posted on our website a list of recommended resources. If you also are interested in being contacted by other education and service-oriented organizations that may wish to recruit Teach For America applicants for similar opportunities, you can complete a short form here.

Although this news may bring disappointment, I hope that your experience with Teach For America thus far has been positive. If you would like to share any anonymous feedback on our admissions process, we welcome your reflections and suggestions here.

Lastly, I am sorry that we are not able to provide individual feedback on admissions decisions, given that we do not have the resources to handle the volume of potential requests. We attempt to minimize the disappointment we know this can cause by being upfront about this policy in our application.

Again, thank you for the energy you invested in our admissions process. I wish you the best in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,

Joshua Griggs
Vice President, Admissions

A little scared for tonight...

2010-01-21T12:17:00.000-06:00

So today I will find out if I got the teach for america job or not. I'm hoping and my heart hasn't stopped beating slightly faster than normal all day (and for the past two days). If I should be invited, it will be a nice security blanket going into my interview next Saturday for the teaching fellows (on the 30th). Though, if I shouldn't be invited, I won't fret...a little sad, yes. But what's done is done and I can only look ahead at that point, right?

Last night I made what I view as my "bachelor's meal" It's named as such because (as I realized last night) I almost never make it when Molly is with me and find myself making it frequently when she is away at Madison. It's probably not the healthiest of suppers, and might be a little bland to some (most?)...though, that's another thing: I find myself eating blander foods when I'm not with her. hmmm...anyway, it goes simply: 1 can of diced tomatoes, 1 can of kidney beans, a cup of rice, and maybe a can of corn. Heat everything up on the stove and wrap in a tortilla. I usually have leftovers for the next three meals :)

Well, we'll see what they say...

Blah...

2009-12-17T19:25:00.005-06:00

Yay! I passed my PRAXIS exams (writing, reading, and math). Math and reading were above average and writing was average (just a few points above the passing grade for all states, phew!). This means I will never have to take them again! Yipee! $180 I won’t have to spend again. And now I've signed up for the next PRAXIS tests ($260), Biology Content, Middle School Science, and PLT 7-12 (Principles of Learning and Teaching grades 7-12). I have a few months to study for those, so that will be nice. :)

And I'm sick again... First it was h1n1 (pronounced: “hiney” lol) now it’s a cold or something. Whenever I am sick (especially if I have a fever) I almost always have wild/scary/annoying dreams that are extremely vivid and set in stone to my memory. So, as I have come to expect, I had just such a dream on Monday night. It was about the interpretive trail project that I'm working on at work. I was in an office/meeting room around a large round table and on the table were huge piles of messy blanket globs of all sorts of drab colors. They were the work that I had done so far and I kept trying to talk to the other people around the table (who weren't there)and these blob things would keep jumping on me and no letting me talk, so I would have to push them away constantly. The end! When January is over and I don't have to think about this interpretive trail project, I will feel much much better.

I hope I can get Molly's X-Mas present done. Just need to get better...I hope by tomorrow. I'm so looking forward to having her home again. It's been so long.

Harlem Children's Zone

2009-12-06T20:38:00.003-06:00

This is exactly where our money ought to be going. Take out 10% of the military budget and there would be funding for programs like this across the nation.

Then start training and hiring dedicated, inspiring teachers.

10 years down the road...achievement gap...What achievement gap?

Watch CBS News Videos Online

Aaron thought if he wished hard enough...

2009-12-03T21:00:00.002-06:00

I finely am reading my invitation to interview (I found out yesterday) email from the Twin Cities Teaching Fellows. Here is their last paragraph. Makes me a little happy to hear. That'll be January 30th. Almost two months away...maybe I'll run into a hardship that I must overcome by then!

Our application review process is thorough and competitive, and only the strongest candidates have been invited to participate in the interview process. The quality and breadth of applications we have received has reinforced our conviction that outstanding individuals are willing to do something about the inequalities that persist in our schools. We are glad to see you among that number and look forward to meeting you at your interview event.

I'll really be shocked if I get this thing...tfa

2009-12-03T17:44:00.005-06:00

Alright, so after crashing for a few hours I'm now awake again to write about my feelings at the TFA interview.

First thing on my mind is that I didn't present myself accurately, and most likely gave my interviewers a false impression of who I am and what kind of teacher I would be. After the sample lesson I got a headache (maybe this had something to do with because I was so relieved that is was over?) that got progressively worse as the day went on. At the final interview I was unable to think at times, as my mind would focus on the headache. I remember several times during pauses that I made (when I would try to think of an answer for the questions), where I would say in my head, "wow, I have a bad headache" or "I wish this headache would go away" hmmph. Anyway...I know these are excuses, but I can learn from this and apply appropriately to my next interview (with Twin Cities Teaching Fellows). Namely what I can apply is...GET A GOOD NIGHT'S REST, DON'T STRESS OVER ANY OF IT, BE YOURSELF. This advice is so simple, but it's some of the reasons that I (in my eyes) did bad at the interview today.

Working on 3 hours of interrupted sleep = not a good idea, as a pounding headache will ensue.
Stressing about 5 minutes (the sample lesson) of the entire day = not worth it.
Other than "headaches=bad", Don't let "professionalism" get in the way of being you.

I felt a little awkward at the 5 minute lesson. Luckily, I had taken my suit coat off so that I could be a bit more free with my gestures. I feel like this would have restricted me...but sure it didn't make me look as professional, I would think. I didn't run out of time, at least. People did lessons on: hyperboles, insect legs, Pythagorean theorem, human skeleton, beginner Spanish, the Bernoulli principle, and Evo Morales the president of Bolivia. I think mine went the worst, if I am to compare--but I think that's just looking back and feeling crummy about the day :/

The day itself was really fun and I loved hearing one of the interviewer's story/TFA experience. All the other interviewees were nice and one even worked at the UofMN cedar creek lab and we talked a bit about that. The overall atmosphere of the day was very time-structured..."you have 90 seconds to read the instructions", "there is __ minute remaining" were common phrases from the interviewers throughout each activity.

The one-on-one interview went really great for 90% of the time. We played a role-play (I was an English teacher who didn't like being in the computer lab doing grammar/sentence lessons and would rather have done Romeo & Juliet with my students. The interviewer played the part of the English chair.) which turned out awkward. I didn't like my objective (to get out of the computer lab altogether that the chair so graciously made a priority for the 9th grade English department). I know I shouldn't have said it, but I told her that an issue so meaningless like this would never happen to me, sure maybe if I were invested in it somehow (and it would probably have to be a lot for some super important reason). I told her that I would simply implement Romeo & Juliet curriculum into my grammar and sentence lessons (that we were supposed to be doing in the computer lab), so that the students could get the best of both worlds (in the scenario, the students are complaining about the computer lab, saying it's a waste of time). I asked her for her advice in my idea--If this was possible to do, given the software, and if she had any helpful hints in making this a reality. She simply said, "yeah, that's good. Why don't you do that?"

The idea of a role play in an interview is a really good one, but making a strict objective like this that I must follow puts me into a mold of a teacher I would never be. I assume that my interviewer wanted me not pose such a simple solution at the very beginning. I assume she wanted me to stick to the objective, tooth and nail at the start, then slow wind down the a solution that is best for both sides.

Maybe I'm taking at this in the wrong direction. Maybe I should be thinking about how, I assume, they wanted to see my problem solving skills and way of thinking. If that's the case, it was difficult for me to get over the flaws (in my opinion) of the role-play. I guess, I look at being a teacher not having to be a battle with the administration, but rather a compromise and a cooperative effort to make the best for the students. I would say an effective educator is able to adjust, not complain about policy on such meaningless issues like this, be willing to collaborate ideas, and be completely humble. Not to have a specific goal in mind (i.e. an objective to get out of the computer lab altogether [be unwilling to vary my lessons], because students don't like it) and stick to it, tooth and nail.

The other trip up in the interview was that the interviewer told me not to talk about anything I had previously talked about in the phone interview. This really sucked, honestly. I poured myself into that phone interview--it was really everything I got concerning hardships, overcoming a challenge, organizing my time, etc. Which is sad in some regards, but I feel was unfair for her to make that stipulation to me (by the way, the ONLY applicant in the room that had a phone interview--everyone else was invited straight to the in-person). To get this job, should I start putting myself in bad situations that I have to overcome? Does hardship-avoidance count for anything? I feel like I have overcame a lot in my life--I am alive and that's a lot say, and I'm really proud about that. I've been through countless experiences where I had to make decisions that influenced my life for the good (or bad). Maybe because I see them this way, they are no longer "hardships" even if I had a bad experience, or had to overcome something, I was able to grow from it (no matter how small it may be), so therefore it is in my eyes (perhaps) not a hardship that I have overcame, but a positive life experience that countless other people have rightly done as well. So, what I am getting at here, is that I was unable to talk about my independent project experience and wasn't able to talk about my conflict with an employee at work, all because I said it already in the phone interview...well let me say these things again, please? My phone interviewer got his interpretation of my "hardship" wrong. Ask me to "tell me more about this" so that you can have my side, straight from the ponies mouth. I paused for at least a minute in thought of something I could say to her that wasn't these experiences burned into my forethought, and I came up short. I had nothing to say and I told her as much.

I don't know what to write about. I'm noticing that sifting through the day is making me sadder by the minute. There are so many things that I could have done better (think of next time, right?). I didn't come out of this thing feeling much self-worth. The question in the back of my mind looms, "should I even be a teacher?"

Squirrel house a go go

2009-11-21T14:43:00.007-06:00

Okay, so with my lover's encouragement, I got back up in that tree and put the squirrel house up :) I just hope now that they can find it and starting making it a home.

Since I had my camera out (finally!), I decided to take some photos of Molly and my carrots and my aunt's potatoes from her garden. The carrots are from our garden this year at Cedar Creek :) short and stubby (I think because of the hard soil, they weren't able to go further down into it).

Squirrel house a no go.

2009-11-21T10:33:00.003-06:00

So, I thought that I could surprise Molly by having the squirrel house up and running by Thanksgiving, but after getting the drill-bit stuck in the tree and not having any fastening wire to fall back on, I think it's over for now, hmmph. I think next year (at our place) we can put one up.

In other news, I might be able to finally read over everything Teach For America has provided, in regards to placement, transcripts, preparing for the interview, etc.

I get to see Molly in a little over two days!

I'll miss the playgrounds and the animals digging up worms

2009-11-14T21:55:00.004-06:00

A bit of an update...

I took the PRAXIS (math, reading, writing) today. I think it went well, at least reading and writing--not too sure about math...crossing my fingers, nothing more I can do now.

I applied for Teach For America and got a phone interview, which went very well. I'll find out if I am invited to the next and final in-person interview in a few days.

I'm in the process of writing my essays, ordering transcripts, and editing my resume in preparation to apply for the Twin Cities Teaching Fellows (crossing my fingers double for this one) on Tuesday!

Wedding planning is going well and took a bit of a turn today when Molly and I kind of decided to do all the catering ourselves (back to our original "vision" of the day). We still want to ask our parents their thoughts about it...see what they think. It's so much more our style. I hope we can do it.

I may have a job into May...looking into a microscope at deceased insects all day, of all things! Yippee, I'll find out more this week as well...

I get to see Molly next Monday night :D Wine? Snuggling? Being with my soul mate, finally again....Check, check, and CHECK! Happy Thanksgiving!

Policy and a Pint, Elements of Education

2009-11-14T21:50:00.006-06:00

So on October 8th I went to the current's policy and a pint on education...Here are my notes (below) on the event and the audio.
I hope you enjoy :) It turned out to be a great experience and I would love to do it again (especially with you, Molly!!)--I can't wait to do more things like this with you when we are actually living together and married :)

“Policy and
a Pint” event: Elements of Education. October 8th, 2009 @ Varsity theater

Description:What makes for a good teacher? What changes do we need to see in
teaching to ensure the best futures for our children? How much input
should parents have in their children's education? How much
responsibility should they take?

This is for teachers, parents, and anyone from undergrads to career changers who is thinking "maybe I'd like to teach."

Join
moderator and 89.3 the Current DJ Steve Seel as he discusses the "The
Elements of Education" with Amber Damm, Minnesota's Teacher of the
Year, and Nathan Eklund, former teacher and author of "How Was Your Day
at School?" who now works at the Search Institute.

These are my revised notes from the night...

Amber Damm (6th & 7th grade English teacher), went to UMN post bachelors program in teaching. Teaching for 11 years at Clara Barton Open School in Minneapolis. Her curriculum is with the "Responsive Classroom" idea in mind. A "Goal setting conference" is part of this curriculum, in which the teacher, student and the students parents sit down together and talk about the students' goals for that school year. In doing so, the teacher forms a better relationship with the parent and student, plus the teacher learns more about the students interests and hobbies.

"Why do you teach?" For those moments of brilliance that you get every day that you'd never think of. The little moments of insight from students creates a never-dull day.

Amber's school encourages a "learning walk" for the teachers. In the walk, teachers have an hour to visit about three others classrooms, either the same subject or different subject areas, and even other grade levels. You never know what you may learn from other teachers, students, and classrooms that you could incorporate into your classroom.

Make teaching "human" as in...you're not perfect, you make mistakes, you are flawed, so be OK and accept these things, learn from them. Incorporate this idea into making boundaries in your life. You can't spend 100% of your time on your students. Family should always come first, then you job. Don't grade until 1AM, stay healthy, eat meals together, exercise, etc. "When I get up in the morning I want to honor my family and my community in what I do."

Concerning Teach For America..."What is the overall effect of a teacher that has been 'churned' through this field and their future career?" ...Experience from being a teacher for even a few years is a great thing due to the 'over flow' idea, if I am a Teacher, I will take more of a convictions in my own kids' lives and what they ought to get out of education.

2 intelligences to bring out in the students. Intellectual vs intuitive vs work ethic. A teacher can do more with a student that has good work ethic and puts in effort than the lethargic A student that can always memorize and make the grade. Intuitive and work ethic intelligence (effort) is what will help the student more so than the good grades that simply entitle them.

Teaching comes with a mix of content and human understanding at a deep level...Realizing this and really living it, makes a good teacher.

Communication is Critical...Get students involved in the classroom decisions. When assignments are due and the rubric which they should be graded on. ... "I asked my students for everyone including myself to look at their planners and look at how busy or not busy they were...then I asked them when a reasonable time would be for the Tiger Tiger poem to be due...'Would Monday work?' I asked them...and they all agreed that that's a pretty reasonable time. This whole time my intention was for it to be due on Monday, but when you ask them for their opinion they own the situation and the assignment much more and you get more returned assignments in the short term, they learn to manage time and commitment this way and improve their self-esteem."

Civically educated kids! Education should be democratic civic experience, not a competitive sport--like the standardized testing has become.

"How do you deal with 30+bosses and 150++ parents??"..."I'm always quick to apologize and hard to work...this brings in the whole idea of being "human"" Always being an advocate for the 12 year old to the parent--so that they can be understanding of their child, what they're going through, so that the parents don't stress them out even more so.

"Socialized intelligence"...You're not the smartest in the classroom, the collective intelligence of the classroom is greater than any individual has in their head. (Kids know a lot more than people may think)

The interview process...Interview as a coworker (future colleague, this is forgotten a lot...make a good relationship with the persons interviewing you) and a teacher of youth. When/if you are stumped by a question, rather than fumbling about, just tell the interviewee "that is such a great question" if the question warrants that of course. Also, this is the type of behavior you should bring to the classroom. When a student stumps you or wants to know more, don't be afraid to show your vulnerabilities and humilities. In the interview talk about human stories. Talk about kids you've worked with and the work you did with them whether it be frustrating or exceptional. Let your interviewer know that you like youth (this is what to focus on).

running and yoga

2009-10-04T10:59:00.003-05:00

So I'm going to start running and doing yoga in the mornings every week day (that's the plan) before work. Starting at 5:30 when I wake up, run for 20 minutes, then do a 30 minute yoga routine.

I was looking for yoga routines online, as I have kind of forgotten my own sense of self-instruction and need to build up some confidence before I just go it alone free-form...so I came across this 'power yoga' one. I looked for many others, specifically for Iyengar because that is the style that I had learned in my class last year, like these two (Glenn Ceresoli Iyengar Yoga demo pt1, pt2)
), but I wanted a voice over of the poses...so I think I'm just going to run with the 'power yoga' one for now until I become more comfy (I was considering this Hatha yoga routine, but her voice is very very distracting to me for some reason).

Thanks for reading Molly (I know you're the only one who cares to :). I await encouragement! ;D love you!

Yoga

2009-09-14T20:37:00.003-05:00

While cleaning the basement (my new study area for the time being) I listened to one of my favorite NPR shows, Speaking of Faith. It was an older (2008) airing, but I hadn't heard it before and was about yoga and how the practice has changed this lady, Sean Corn's, life.

Listen to: Speaking Of Faith: Yoga with Sean Corn

So, is this a sign?? Do I get back into Yoga? Maybe in the mornings for 30 minutes before work?? Maybe start right at 6:00 AM? Sounds great to me! we'll see what happens. :) I'm hopeful.

all for now :/ not much time to post anything. This is more for Molly's viewing pleasure than anything else :)

Minnesota Teacher of the Year, 2009

2009-05-15T18:46:00.011-05:00

Thanks to my love for letting me know, I was able to listen to an interview of Amber Damm, Minnesota's Teacher of the Year for 2009, today on MPR's Midday. Her words were so encouraging for me. The enthusism and interest in kids' lives and their learning was so evident immediately as I heard her voice. She presents a very hopeful and postivie outlook on the relationships that a teacher can have on students, their families, and thier communities.

She makes me SOOOOO excited to become a teacher! I enjoyed the section where she explains what makes the magnet school she works at special. She describes it as a school that is in tune to understanding the whole child, which includes not only their academics, but also their social, emotional, and physical growth and well-being. Also, she stresses that the school understands that there are multiple ways for kids to learn, and that everyone can learn no matter what their past may say.
Another aspect of the school, and I assume her teaching philosophy, is the project emphasis, rather than test emphasis on learning. This idea, of even getting rid of the 50 question multiple choice tests that seem so standard, is so cool for me, as I don't believe that that is the best way to learn something-anything...being able to take tests well is a skill that I have focused on too much in my own education I feel--getting the grade was center in my education, unfortunately, now that I look back. Tests and knowing how to take them to acheive an end was, now that I realize it, so very distracting to my growth. I remember my projects, journal entries, activities, and field trips more than I do any test I ever took. The project emphasis encourages students to learn for the sake of learning, rather than for the sake of a sometimes deceitful grade.

Beyond this, I took so much from hearing the interview--the excitement and motivation to become a teacher has just tripled in my drive; that goes without explanation.

As a teacher I will strive to be as this teacher is. Thank you!

"the most significant issue in public education is rooted in the question: How do we address the needs of all learners? I have a passion for discovering how students learn. How do all kids learn, no matter what they bring to the school they attend? They learn by experiencing authentic relationships with teachers and classmates who know and understand them.” - Amber Damm

More to come...

2009-05-15T00:19:00.002-05:00

I post this as a commitment to myself more than anything. I will write and post what I find interesting, fun and important about this beautiful life we all share--the core of this blog and the core of my being. Mushroom hunting soon?

Grrrrrr!!!

2009-03-10T10:08:00.000-05:00

I just got to the library and set up my laptop and got out my planner and paper and things...minding my own business, being as quiet and respectful as I could be. There was another student about 15 feet away looking cool trying to read. He shifted his eyes to look at me, staring, while I started writing in my planner. Then he burst into angry-conversation-mode saying with and outside voice (mind you, this is a library), "Is there ANY place in this G**D*** library that doesn't have all this ambient noise?! I'm trying to read and I can't F****** concentrate for S***!!" "Maybe upstairs," I replied, smiling big all the while thinking in my head calm down mister, just focus and let everything else go, and if that doesn't work then you have issues you need to deal with before you are going to be able to read. And, "F***" he stormed off upstairs.

The moment and my reaction felt like something out of A Peaceful Warrior. It's an odd sort of realization for me to see in myself that I did not feel bad for him (I feel that I usually would--I may even have felt guilty, as if I poked in the last straw, making him snap), not in the least. I smiled. I wasn't scared. I saw that he was creating this stress and needed to release it some how, and it just came out like this. He had something, and still may, bent up in every direction inside of himself and it needed to stretch.

Song Of Poplars

2009-03-02T12:15:00.003-06:00

SONG OF POPLARS

-- Aldous Huxley

SHEPHERD, to yon tall poplars tune your flute:
Let them pierce keenly, subtly shrill,
The slow blue rumour of the hill;
Let the grass cry with an anguish of evening gold,
And the great sky be mute.

Then hearken how the poplar trees unfold
Their buds, yet close and gummed and blind,
In airy leafage of the mind,
Rustling in silvery whispers the twin-hued scales
That fade not nor grow old.

Poplars and fountains and you cypress spires
Springing in dark and rusty flame,
Seek you aught that hath a name?
Or say, say: Are you all an upward agony
Of undefined desires?

Say, are you happy in the golden march
Of sunlight all across the day?
Or do you watch the uncertain way
That leads the withering moon on cloudy stairs
Over the heaven's wide arch?

Is it towards sorrow or towards joy you lift
The sharpness of your trembling spears?
Or do you seek, through the grey tears
That blur the sky, in the heart of the triumphing blue,
A deeper, calmer rift?"

So; I have tuned my music to the trees,
And there were voices, dim below
Their shrillness, voices swelling slow
In the blue murmur of hills, and a golden cry
And then vast silences.

searching for new themes/templates for this blog. Here are some that I really like..
favorite 1--http://www.smaltostudio.com/
favorite 2--http://1pxsolid.com/
favorite 3--http://mindsink.watchtheworld.org/
http://www.visualboxsite.com/
http://www.myjustdot.com/
http://www.futurefabric.co.uk/

Ants!

2009-01-26T15:20:00.004-06:00

So here are some recent pictures of the ants, Temnothorax longispinosus (this is colony #2), taken last week over winter break. Aren't they awesome!!?? The pictures turned out a bit overexposed due to my flash (I have to work on making a practical flash diffuser (looking into making #1 or #2) specifically for taking photos of these ants.

Concise updates:
colony #1 successfully re-located their entire colony underneath a stack (over a dozen) of National Geographic magazines inside the cabinet that their artifical colony was resting upon. They are back, now, in their petri dish...and I wonder why they wanted to move to the magazines? Scouts seem to always be on the top lid of the petri dish during daylight hours, trying to find another way out perhaps?
colony #2 indulged in a fruit fly yesterday. They always seem to be scouting their enclosure, thus getting to their food immediately. They also recruit many more workers to help eat and take back honey, water, and fly to the nest, unlike #1 & #3.
colony #3 is remaining shy as ever. They will rarely investigate beyond the inside of their nest. And when they do, they send only 1 to 3 scouts at a time.
colony #4 is still a lone queen with her clump of 1-3 eggs (not sure). She carries them everywhere she goes. If she needs to get some water outside her nest, she will take them with. Set them aside her, drink, pick them up again and return to her home. She's so protective, I don't like to scare her every time I open up the petri dish to move something or add food. I hope she will be able to see the fruits of her labor soon...it's been so long and I haven't seen much growth or change in her egg mass.

Today was my first day back to class. I have to start thinking heavily about my NCUR project, as I have been accepted and now have a deadline to meet.
All for now...

Thoughts of food...

2009-01-24T12:50:00.008-06:00

I remember when I was younger, for most of my pre-teen life and into my early teens that I was capable of consciously killing for no reason--even up to about 7 years ago the jerk reaction of slapping a mosquito was still with me. It puzzles me, now that I feel more conscious of my actions, still that I am capable of killing nonhuman organisms for the sake of other nonhuman organisms to live (e.g. killing fruit flies to feed ants in the lab and feeding 'defensless' crickets and mealworms to geckos). But I won't kill an animal for my own sake--if I do not have to? Is this pressing concern over another's reality (e.g. the ants and geckos needing flies and crickets) creating and giving me purpose to kill? I honor the fruit, the veggies, the grains, legumes, fungi that I consume. It's easy to honor them, easy to think about them as purposeful entities for my consumption. To me, I feel that this food wants to be eaten.

Whenever I have looked into the eyes of another creature or am aware of another's body language--their self reflections and constant thoughts swirling with my own--I have never felt as though any mammals, fish, reptiles, insects or others with eyes and legs and body and crawl wanted me to partake in their flesh. I have never wanted to partake in my own flesh. But the fruits, the leaves and the vegetables seem right to me, I feel a difference. When I eat something, it becomes me, too, it moves on in its life and death and is changed, just as I am changed.

Those Native Americans and indiginous peoples across the world who have a notorious 'closeness to earth' killed the animals and thanked them for their flesh. They sometimes even claimed that the animals offered themselves to be eaten or were created for humans to take. In this view, I can see any critter being responsible for it's own death in this way, since the animals are "god" in my personal view. Through their eyes and mannerisms in most animals I will get either indifference, or a general recognition that the creatures are just as much a part of me as I am them.

There are so many more aspects to the reason for not eating meat, but I feel that this reason is the one that always always always comes to my mind as the reason.

And she said yes...

2009-01-19T14:50:00.000-06:00

Winter break was wonderful. I spent almost every day/minute with her. We talked, kissed, cuddled, experienced and thought about things a lot. We got engaged, too! I asked her at Minnehaha Falls on the ice below the falls. My heart was beating so fast. Everything went perfect. I love her with all of my everything.

SEA KITTENS!

2009-01-17T22:20:00.000-06:00

Sea Kitten

Foothill Horizons Outdoor School!!!!

2008-12-13T18:39:00.003-06:00

I planned to spend an hour or two visiting each of these prospective outdoor education internship websites this evening and I have found myself completely taken by the first one that I visited...Foothill Horizons Outdoor School...holy buckets! They hire five interns per year...starting in August through May (academic school year) [note: if I should pursue this, it may push back wedding plans with the girl of my dreams...]. I would be teaching 10-12 year old students about ecology, animals, plants, the earth, rocks, trees birds, stars, conservation, and the environment...rrrrr this would be amazing!!!!!! Crap! library is closing in 10 minutes... :/ looks like I didn't get to the others...aspennature.org, audubonnaturalis.org, conservancy.org, delawarenaturesociety.org, holdenarb.org, longwoodgardens.org, nhmi.org, dec.state.ny.us/website/education/5river.html, peacevalleynaturecenter.org ,peec.org, rbnc.org, keystone.org (colorado), llcc.org (MN), camphightrails.com (cali), campmcdowell.com/cmec, foothillhorizons.com (cali), newfs.org, hawkmountain.org, yni.org/hi (cali), naturesclassroom.com, tcoe.org/scicon (california teaching credential...?), shaverscreek.org, treesfortomorrow.com, uga.edu/aquarium, clemson.edu/yli,

blah...almost?

2008-12-12T12:29:00.008-06:00

I'm finally done with this final normal week of classes. I would write more about it, but at this point I'd rather not put more energy into it...ergh. All that I have left now is finals. Yipee. I'm going to relax the rest of the day...maybe read some on ants, watch a movie, make a good supper, talk to my lover, I could even start making a project outline for my acorn ant ethogram study.

Endangered species are becoming harder to protect in America thanks to this amendment to the Endangered Species Act. Government agencies no longer will be required, under law, to have environmental consulting by State and Federal scientists (like the Fish & Wildlife and the DNR) when they are doing projects that have the potential to put endangered species in perile. However, they do have the option to consult them, if they so choose (with no immediate incentive for a money starved/money hungry group...what a joke). The World Wildlife Federation in the article comments, "In the eleventh hour of his presidency, President Bush has rammed through a sweeping overhaul of the Endangered Species Act. This action eviscerates key protections that have helped safeguard and recover endangered fish, wildlife and plants for the past 35 years."

With ever-growing corporate control of our governments, the lines will be blurred between what a government and what a private agency is. Do you see the implications of this?

On a lighter note?...Squirrels might be going unexpectedly (at least to us) hungry this winter on the east coast thanks to an acorn shortage.

My lover and I are going to make this sweater over break.

No Excuses

2008-12-09T09:20:00.002-06:00

I stumbled upon this interesting article in the New Yorker about ant diversity in a busy urban New York City environment. A graduate student, Marko Pecarevic, did work entitled Ant Diversity and Abundance Increase with Increasing Plant Complexity and Amount of Garbage Bins in New York City Street Medians. Check it out here! This work just shows that ecology, biology, curiosity, and nature can be explored, experienced, and wondered-upon ANYWHERE! Man has no excuse to feel they've lost touch with nature and the world. They haven't and hopefully never will. This life is amazing.

From the article - "For someone interested, as Pecarevic was, in the ecology of heavily compromised urban environments, medians were like remote, unexplored island chains—a Galápagos in Manhattan. He decided to be their Darwin. Employing Google Earth (forgive him, he’s from Zagreb), he chose three median-rich stretches—Park Avenue, the West Side Highway, and Broadway—then made himself an official-looking ID, dressed in parkish green, and started collecting ants, travelling the city with a duffelbag of garden tools and Evian bottles filled with antifreeze. No one bothered him."

thanksgiving break yay

2008-11-26T15:54:00.006-06:00

I'm trying to write my persuasive speech on vegetarianism...I wanted to get it done before thanksgiving, so that I could practice over break....mmmmm, but I keep getting distracted...youtube and the internet in general--there are just so many interesting and fun things to watch, read, and listen to. Oh, yeah and the most amazing person in the entire universe is going to be in my arms in like 5 hours (or less I hope!), so that's kind of distracting :)...

I did find something super, SUPER awesome that a certain love of my life could appreciate my amazement for. KNITTED ORGANISMS!!!! COOOOOOLLLL!!!! I could totally see these hung up all over our house and in our classrooms at school (both fitting an art and science theme! perfect!) (hint hint). The lady who knits them sells them on etsy.com along with patterns, that I presume she has also made herself, cool! One mantid is selling for $200.00! And look at all these cool mantids!

The ants are doing great for the most part it seems. 2 of the larger colonies have not chosen to colonize the larger "acorn" that I made. I wonder if they like the more cramped feeling? I did not have much of a chance to visit them for very long this last week at school, but I did manage to pin one of the ants and sure enough, it is Temnothorax longispinosus. I am still unsure what specie the other colony is (with the one queen and one worker). The eggs have yet to hatch into larvae and they are all stuck together in a big clump--I wonder if this is "natural" or "supposed to happen" or if it is a bad sign? I borrowed The Ants by Hölldobler & Wilson from my professor for the thanksgiving break. I plan to read the chapters concerning communication between individuals and the colony as a whole. We'll see what I get to!

My other half is on her way, I think...No answer on her phone :/ To spend thanksgiving break with everyone (: exciting! We're going to make pumpkin pie and Chickpea Quinoa Pilaf! yummmmmmmm....OK back to speech writing...and stuff.

turtle

2008-11-17T18:22:00.003-06:00

An update on the ants I am taking care of...I have four colonies now. Three new colonies are, I presume, the same species. I have yet to successfully mount two dead sisters for proper identification, but I presume they are Temnothorax longispinosus. The first colony that I took in is down to one queen, four eggs (still), and one worker. I am not sure what happened to the other worker...just disappeared one day and hasn't returned. I am curious to find out what species this colony is. Hopefully soon I can set up a way to take pictures from the microscope and post them here.

I had the wonderful opportunity this last weekend to be with the love of my life. We participated in another science night at an elementary school--we were in charge of the 'old faithful' experiment. Variations on this experiment would be so much more meaningful to not only the "scientists" (us), but also the kids. As it is ran now, there is really no inquiry going on. Molly has some great ideas (temperature variation, ingredient distinction, diet vs. regular, # of mentos used, crushed mentos, etc. etc.!) . We also went to Olbrich garden and conservetory which was super amazing. I will have to post pictures later of the bird of paradise flower in bloom and the thai pavillion + elephants. That was so fun...I can totally see our wedding their or some place like it. Very beautiful. We are definitely going back (it would be cool to see the plants in every season!). We also went to see the new James Bond movie...then we analyzed it all night, trying to make sense of it all--which we both felt pretty good about afterwards. Unfortunately Molly's fish aquarium has anchor worm (I think) living in it. There was one exiting the smaller/less dominant fish from its bottom pelvic fin. Poor fish; poor anchor worm. We didn't get to the store to pick up medicine: potassium permanganate! But Molly did today and is treating them as I type :) Writing all of this makes me realize that I was just holding her hand yesterday and now I'm not.

voting

2008-11-04T09:06:00.003-06:00

No matter who wins I know that the flowers will still start to bloom in April; the sun will come up tomorrow morning; the bees will still snuggle up for the long winter; babies will be born; people will be born-again; people will fall in love; and life will simply go on as it always does.

I love life.

My name, my species.

2008-11-03T13:29:00.007-06:00

I read a report today on a new website that's just been launched...nameaspecies.com. The basic idea behind it is: a scientists describes a new species, they sell the 'rights' to name it to this company who marks up the value and sells it to you for you to name it whatever you'd like. You get a letter of thanks from the scientist and an official certificate of the species name! They claim that half the profits will be going to fund more research to the selling scientist.

What is stopping an egotistical scientist (or just someone who wants a cheap dollar) from describing a bogus species and selling you the rights to its naming? As far as I can tell, the site offers to quality assurance other than saying that they will publish the species in a peer reviewed journal. However, not all peer reviewed journals are created equal--so I'm still pretty skeptic. Fraudulent species describing happens all the time--especially when entomologists are selling their private collections to museums or others--as rare, endangered, undescribed, or extinct species can bring in large amounts of money and artificially inflating the value of a collection is a pretty sneaky way to sell.

The only good I see in this 'service' is that it's promoting awareness of biodiversity...but at the same time I also see it as proliferating the idea of man's dominance over nature...and now we resort to 'buying' a sense of control?

I'm not sure why I wrote about this...maybe because I was just half-surprised when I saw the news...

To a Butterfly

2008-11-01T18:37:00.000-05:00

I'VE watched you now a full half-hour;
Self-poised upon that yellow flower
And, little Butterfly! indeed
I know not if you sleep or feed.
How motionless!--not frozen seas
More motionless! and then
What joy awaits you, when the breeze
Hath found you out among the trees,
And calls you forth again!
- - - William Wordsworth "To a Butterfly"

Quotations, quotations...

Halloween

2008-10-31T10:25:00.000-05:00

Happy Halloween!

Molly and I were planning to be together today, make costumes, trick-or-treat, and just be with eachother, but instead we've decided that the visit would bring too much stress for us come Monday. I've decided not to dress up or anything. The ideas of being frogs and frog hopping down State Street was so cool...But I'm just not in the mood without her excitement here. And who would I be 'showing' my costume to? My Aunt, I suppose :)

Anyway, that's OK. We'll have plenty more Halloweens to enjoy side-by-side in the future. (and help our kids make their own costumes too!). Speaking of kids...Hogan is going to be Spiderman and Tori is going to be a pop-star diva girl with camouflage outfit. :D

I might make gnocchi tonight, I'm not sure. After stumbling upon this website I really really really want to start making posters of animal life cycles and animal habitats etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. Just awesome representations of the diversity of life. I want to start them in my journal...then possibly I will expand them to glossy 2'x2' posters to hang in the classroom and/or at home!

Oh, how I miss you...

tutoring and acorn ants.

2008-10-31T09:58:00.000-05:00

I'm raking in triple digit paychecks! Yeah, that's right...in two weeks worth of tutoring work, I got a paycheck totally a massive 103.93! Mmmm, but seriously, I am really grateful to be getting paid for something that I really enjoy doing: tutoring biology. Even if it does stress me out quite a bit during the days leading up to the tutoring sessions, I am completely stress-free when I am with the students. I get quite the same feeling when I'm with the 6th graders at Osceola...but there I'm even more happy.

Today I will be going out with my professor to see if we can collect more acorn ants. This last week, we managed to get a full colony of one queen, 2 workers, and a clutch of 4 eggs. They're so fun to watch. We are not sure what species they are, yet. It is for sure a polymorphic species, as the queen is nearly 5 times the size of a worker. Granted, my professor believes that these workers are her first brood, thus they will be about half the size of a 'normal' worker will be.

It's so neat that a colony of ants can be fully contained in an acorn...We'll see what we get today...hopefully a variety of species so that I can start to compare behaviors. These critters are so fascinating. I wish I could have them in my room at my Aunts...wow, I think I would die of excitement, though...being surrounded by these amazing ants 24/7/11. hehe, I'm sounding like a 16 year old who just got their license to drive.

I'm taking the ants into the lab to essentially get to know them better. At this juncture of my research, I don't plan to manipulate their environment or them in anyway. I want to be purely observational; trying my damndest not to be any more invasive to them as I have already been (stealing their home and in a sense enslaving them)...Even though my intentions are to not cause any stress or harm, I know that I will. I have to keep in mind my role, their role, and the respect that I must give to them. I have to always hold true to my beliefs: In life we are all connected. It is only inevitable that all actions, physical and non, will reverberate back in the same light as it was sent.

Congratulations and all the best to the both of you!

2008-10-30T16:18:00.000-05:00

Last weekend was Brook and Lee's wedding (Molly's cousin Brook). It was probably the largest wedding that I have ever been to, but that's not saying a lot, as I have not been to many. They had 11 brides maids and 11 grooms men! It was also the shortest wedding ceremony that I've ever been to. It took about 15 minutes for the wedding party to find their place, wait for Brook to walk down, exchange vows, light the unity candle, exchange rings, and kiss...then we were off to the golf course to celebrate.

The food was good, Molly and I had salad, potatoes, and green beans (+ a shirley temple for Molly :). Unfortunately, we didn't have the chance to dance. I was really looking forward to it--I have really fallen in love with dancing with Molly...I never thought I'd enjoy it so much. The way she talks about it on the phone and how she teaches me different moves gets me so excited. The dance floor was a wee-bit small, creating a pretty crowded atmosphere once the music started. Oh well! We kind of danced to one song :/

Everyone kept hinting at our wedding be the next wedding...wow. It's so amazing to think about...I'll be married to my best friend in less than two years. Which gets me thinking of honeymoons and Australia a bit.

Elementary Education students here at my school went to Australia for student teaching...mmm, I can't wait to go there with my future wife. Right now it does not look like we'll be spending our honeymoon backpacking across the "land down under"...but for sure some day we will! I wonder where/what we'll go/do for our honeymoon...I'm open to anything. Just being with the woman of my dreams is all that is on my mind.

"To blessed to be stressed"

2008-10-20T18:33:00.000-05:00

This last weekend I was so blessed to have the opportunity to celebrate Molly's birthday with her. Being the birthday present, I was at her whim (which I secretly...well it's not really a secret...enjoy being). I loved giving her back and head massages. It's so rewarding to know that I'm making a physical change that she can take with her and benefit from.

We went apple picking with some of her Writing Fellows at an orchard south of Madison. We walked among rows of trees holding hands and smiling into the sun. It was a wonderful day for being outside. The air was fresh and all the green added to my glee. I found a couple of slugs on some fallen apples--that was my highlight of the apple picking adventure (other than being with the love of my life, of course).

We watched 40 minutes of a not-so-great movie--Matchpoint by Woody Allen--and a WONDERFUL movie that I had never seen before--the live action Peter Pan.

Scientists say stick bug is world's longest insect

2008-10-17T19:55:00.000-05:00

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=95809436

Scientists say stick bug is world's longest insect